Make The Best Of It (USA) Seniors

:stuck_out_tongue: Way Off Topic - but I thought it was funny…

Just in Case You are a Senior and Get a Check for $250…

By end of this year, we seniors will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program.

I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:

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Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers…

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don’t get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to
India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala .
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it atyard salesor flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US
Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

:stuck_out_tongue: :lol:

I don’t think they are giving us our money back, they are borrowing money from the Federal Reserve and signing our children and grandchildren’s names to the debt.

If it is spent anywhere that collects sales taxes or has employees, after several turnovers it is all right back in the hands of the government… except the debt remains.

I think I’ll have a beer.:zbeer:

I make my own beer. I get the barley from local farmers and grow my own hops. The water comes from Lake Erie and I cook it on a wood-charcoal stove fired with a tree I cut from my backyard. Never mind the $250, because I have a pillow stuffed with $1,000,000. :lol:

Buy a classic USED CAR, and employ a local mechanic(s) to restore it and keep the money in the country!